Please help. I don't know to whom else to turn and I'm getting desperate. I'm faced with that most awful of circumstances, that which makes parents wish they'd never brought their children into this cruel world. That's right: my daughter wants to be a poet when she grows up.
I'm waiting by my computer for your reply.
A Concerned Parent
I kid, I kid. Actually, this reminds me of that one time my dad threatened not to pay for my English degree, or when he introduced me to someone at Ace Hardware as "my daughter, who's going to UCLA for a degree in English. So proud, and yet so disappointed."
Good times, good times.